For all of you out there who own your own home, or at least a portion of your own home, let me remind you of those quaint, care-free apartment days.
Charming aspect of apartment living #1: Tomorrow, you may or may not be living in the rental property you may or may not think is really great and you would like to live in for a long time. My two housemates and I are being kicked out of our happy home (a delightful one-story 1920's era affair in Old North Small Southern City) because the bastard that owns it has decided he wants to live here again. I won't go into details. I leave that up to Dick Umbrage, who may have already ranted about the ordeal. If not, he probably should, and file it right next to the story about the asshat who was listening to the radio station 24 hours a day.
Charming aspect of apartment living #2: Your delightful spring evening may or may not be interrupted at any point by a man with a chainsaw. Right now (and it's 8pm, mind you, and he's been here for at least half an hour) there is a man with a chainsaw hacking away at a line of ornamental trees in our backyard with complete disregard to Designated House Naptime (daily between 6:00 and 8:00pm), my Tuesday Night Post-5.2 Mile Run Law & Order SVU Marathon (8:00 to 11:00pm), or the principles of bonsai. I mean, how can I enjoy Detective Benson's nail-biting interrogation of an alleged homeless ex-preacher coke addict rapist with VROOM VROOM every three seconds?
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...and then there's always the rotting, falling down ceiling; the fortnightly parade of ants; the creepy shed and its hoojoo; the reassuring sound of "home defence" gunfire; the lawnmower that breaks every fifteen paces; and, did i mention the closet full of someone else's clothes???
i will miss the ole Mount.
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