Tuesday, May 10, 2005

garrison keillor: radio icon, rambling old fucker

In a move that has a faint whiff of BW Ventril's recent post on trite celebrity opinions plopped onto a website like warm turds into a gently leftward-flowing stream, Garrison Keillor gets all "I'm gonna talk about what radio is like these days" in this piece in the latest issue of The Nation.

You may think, as I did, that Keillor will take this opportunity to address some of the profoundly fucked-up things going on in radio today, like the reactionary FCC or the genocide of local radio programming at the hands of frequency-gobbling corporate monopolies, from his particular perspective as one of the most popular voices on non-corporate radio.

Instead, Keillor takes up space that could have been used to advertise important products that could improve my life and help me find my SoulMate(TM) to convince me that he is completely drunk. In his typical mode of self-indulgent, nostaligic literary excess, Keillor makes some limp jabs at Clear Channel, right-wing AM ranters, iPods, and an even weaker attempt at coherence. The man jumps from anecdotes about retarded girls to George McGovern (" a kindly, grandfatherly man who lives in Mitchell, South Dakota, and winters in Florida and every year") to shameless promos for NPR syndicate-pals and sums it all up with these words of Zen-like mysticism:

We will make the demented uncle shut up so we can listen to somebody who actually knows something.

Who the fuck is The Demented Uncle?

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