when elsa can't park, elsa gets cranky

It is a lovely day, i am no longer in the midwaste, i have recently been notified that i will be getting a raise at my job, and yet i am cranky as fuck. This is because the same Southern Private University that will be paying for my increase in pay chooses to mock my sense of all that is just by refusing to let me park. Now, i'm not talking about free parking - that would be asking an awful lot from any institution run by obscenely affluent white men in suits. However, at Southern Private U. it is virtually impossible for any visitor to pay to park, even in the designated visitor's parking lots, because the one visitor's parking lot near anything on campus one might wish to be near is always either full or "reserved" for some special event that usually involves aforementioned obscenely affluent white men drinking expensive scotch and watching Hot College Chicks All-Anal Action VI in the fancy board room. Of the last 6 or 7 times I have desired to park in the visitor's parking lot, I have successfully parked there exactly 0 times. Each subsequent failed parking attempt results in a fit of rage greater in intensity and shorter in calmness to crankiness time, today's incident resulting in shouted declarations to the nearby shrubbery what I wished to cover the visitor's parking lot with flaming napalm. "Why," I beseeched the shrubs, "Does this university seem to have such a flippant attitude towards its visitors' parking needs? Why was this parking lot, built only two years ago, designed with a seeming ignorance of the number of people who actually wish to park there, in combination with the fact that visitors are rarely actually allowed to park there, unless they are affluent white men who wish to watch pornographic videos in the fancy board room?? Could they not have simply added a couple more stories to this structure? Or dug underground? Or have built an elaborate network of canals to be navigated by gondolas, thus eliminating the need for auto traffic and consequently auto parking, also increasing the romantic factor and uniqueness of the university?"

The shrubs could provide no answer.